What ignites your soul? What on this earth or off this earth gives your entire being peace, comfort, and calm? If we all knew this answer, I believe our world would be a different place.
A few month ago I went to go see a famous medium to help me work through some things that I knew only a higher power could do. Now, I know not everyone believes in this and that is fine, but it is something I knew my soul needed. I have had vivid dreams of my Poppie ever since the day he passed away. Some of them were messages he wanted me to give to my Nonnie, others were just me watching him, crying, but his smile let me know he was near. When I went to this medium, I needed clarity that my dreams were real and that I was being guided. I needed to know my Poppie was with me and that I wasn’t alone. I am not one to open up to a lot of people. I used to be an open book. Unfortunately, my book slowly began to close over time when judgment, harshness, and unkindness began to creep in every time I spoke. Nothing will hurt a good, kind soul more than living amongst people who cannot understand it. My soul needed to know that even when I said nothing at all, I was understood. This is exactly what I got.
"Your Poppie is with you every single day," she said. "He actually never leaves you." She continued to tell me that every time I see a butterfly, just know that is your Poppie. I cried tears of sadness yearning for one more hug, but also, with tears of peace validating what I really already knew. After 2 hours of intense work, she finally looks at me and says, "You do everything for everyone, you need to take care of you before its too late. You are an empath which is a very hard thing, but also a beautiful quality. You need salt water to clear your soul. It will help you." Being that I am an empath, I knew I needed to really take in what was said and start taking care of my soul. I find myself physically and emotionally sick when I am around too many energies at once. I get this overwhelming sensation that flows over my entire body. I become on such high alert that I actually begin to feel as if things are crawling under my skin. I take on both positive and negative energies and if I don't clear them out of me, I become almost frozen. When it comes to my safe haven (my husband, children, and a few friends), my empathy is a great quality. They do not need to even speak for me to feel if something is off or if perhaps they need me emotionally. The problem goes back to if I don't take care of my own soul, I can not feel this as clearly. I want to use my gift for the people I love and not waste it on a group of humans who aren't even aware of what is going on around them.
I can honestly say I was a little shocked by the ocean comment. I am deathly afraid of the ocean! My high anxiety, over thinking, plan for the worse so you can avoid it self stops me from stepping foot in the water. After my session, I sat back, reflected, and I realized she is right. They only time I feel completely at peace in the depths of my soul is when I hear the waves crashing on the shore. When I look out to a never ending ocean I am reminded that my dreams, too, can be never ending. I have such clarity in my non-stop, always planning, never resting brain. With my children playing next to me, it is almost like I am untouchable in a world full of crazy. When I cannot be at an ocean, I spray a sea salt mist in the air. Once I inhale so deeply, I am taken to my calm even if it is just for one moment. It is these moments that the clarity in my soul allows me to be fully present for the people that need me most, including myself.
In order to find your fire, you must revive and refuel. For me, as said above it is the ocean. Being that I do not live at the ocean, I have had to search to find that same feeling in other things. The sunrise. The silence in that moment is so warming, so calming, and so fulfilling. The beauty that is rising is a reminder of the simplest pleasures that we so often take for granted. It is a gift that God paints for us every single day. The sound of my kids bedroom doors opening in the morning. I get butterflies in my stomach each time as if it’s the first moment I get to look into their rested, sweet, gentle eyes. I love you. When my children say those three words to me each and every day, even when I have made some big mistakes, they still love me. Their unconditional love is what keeps me fighting every day. They are my heroes whom I look to for guidance, support, and inspiration even when they have no idea. They are the most incredible humans I have ever and will ever know. It is my job to be the greatest role model, fighter, and supporter for them. After all they unknowingly do for me, this is the least I can do for them. Art. When I sit down and just draw or create a piece of art, the concentration that goes into it allows me to turn off everything else. Laughter. That deep belly, body shaking, face hurting, tears flowing, can't breath kind of laughter. This will never get old. My husband. The only man I have ever met that is so full of grace, kindness, confidence, and honesty, you can actually feel it when he enters the room. His presence is so pure and powerful, I am honored every day to be his wife. It’s the moments where this strong, unbreakable human, looks me in the eye, says the simplest, most genuine complement with tears welling up, that my soul can not help but feel right. A letter. A young girl wrote me a letter out the blue telling me how I have changed her life. She mentioned things I didn't even know she saw. She looks up to me, and that is all I have ever dreamed of. My life story is one that will inspire, and this young girl is the reason I am continuing on this path. Do not be afraid to tell someone they are helping or inspiring you. I look at this letter every single time I doubt myself. It is her words that revive me and remind me to keep following my dream. Finally, a simple embrace. Never underestimate the power of a hug, a hand hold or a small touch. It can change everything for that human in that moment.
It is your fire that will change the world. Take time to fill up on all the moments, experiences, or feelings that invigorate your soul. When your soul is full of passion and purpose, dreams begin to come true. Search, meditate, journal. For me, I know the fire in my soul is burning when my purpose is clear. Get rid of the fog by taking time for you. Take time to appreciate the small things that are so often over shadowed. For it is these periods of time that are most life changing. You are the only one who knows what your soul needs, so it is up to you to take care. For it is a happy soul that will always protect you from the cruelty of the world. For it is a happy soul that will guide you to your purpose and fulfill every ounce of your deepest desires and dreams.